shadow

How I Prioritize Caring for Me

Women in general have a hard time with it….
How dare you think of prioritizing yourself when you have ALL THE THINGS to look after?
Is that how you see yourself? Are you someone who tends to put everyone else’s needs first? Are you feeling drained or stressed or less well than you’d like?

You do realize, don’t you, how ridiculous it is to pour from an empty pitcher? It’s the same with your own energy and reserves.

How can you possibly give your best if you’re not looking after your own health and well being first?

Are you wanting to learn how to get good at creating rituals that support your best self?

If you are, you’re going to want to begin by making very small changes that will slowly but surely change how you view yourself.

Here’s how I go about it.

In order to make anything into a habit, I have the what, where, and when already figured out.

One of the first things I do after I wake up is to drink two full glasses of water, one of which contains a bit of raw apple cider vinegar. This serves to hydrate my body (it gets dehydrated during the night) and helps alkalize the system.

I have room-temperature water ready and waiting on the counter from the night before. I have the ACV nearby. I know I’ll do it as soon as I step into the kitchen. Voila! An easy, no-thinking-required health-supporting habit.

I am a person who hydrates and alkalizes first thing!

My next what-where-when is to gather my phone with the meditation app “Insight Timer,” walk to my designated meditation space and sit for whatever time I have that day. This follows right after the water ritual. Meditation is fabulous for managing stress and not difficult if you start with only a few minutes and lower your expectations about quieting your mind!

I am a person who meditates every day!

No self-care plan would be complete without including some movement each day. Of course, your choice of workout or other movement depends on what lights you up. Forcing yourself to do something you detest will not be helpful.

For me, my what-where-when looks like deciding what my body wants that day – will it be yoga, core exercises, a few vigorous intervals, or maybe some resistance work (sometimes all of the above!)? Whatever I do, I change it up a little each day. It takes place in the same room and right after my meditation practice.

If you’re not already committed to a movement practice of some kind, I recommend starting with just five minutes of an activity you think you might like. It could be walking, dancing around the kitchen, or playing something silly with the kids or the dog. It definitely doesn’t have to involve a gym membership – unless that’s your thing.

I am a person who exercises regularly!

Of course, the same principles apply to any new behavior you want to make your own.

  1. Figure out why you want to make the change.
  2. Decide how you’ll incorporate it into your existing routine with the what, where, and when.
  3. Start doing the thing – but for just a few minutes. Keep at it.
  4. Shift in belief happens.

You see how a few minutes of anything practiced frequently will change how you see yourself? It’s sneaky!

And that, my friends, is how you and I prioritize caring for ourselves.

If you want my help shifting beliefs and habits related to your health, please fill out the contact form here.

The Power of Hope

We’ve all felt some measure of overwhelm, exhaustion, and fear of the future this year. Would you agree?

There’s a lot going on. Especially with the pandemic, there’s a tendency for many of us to feel hopeless.

Yet, when everything seems hopeless, we miss out on precious moments of our lives.

I want to tell you the story of my son Brandon, who never lost hope.

From the time he learned to walk, Brandon was prone to getting bumps and bruises and cuts on his head. As he got older, his accidents became increasingly serious. When he was a teenager, he fell off a roof and was struck in the head by a 300 lb. piece of equipment.

He later totaled his dad’s car when it hit a tree head-on and narrowly missed jamming the engine through the dashboard. Around this time, he went from being an honor-roll student to failing most of his classes.

Unbeknownst to us, he began using drugs to self-medicate the distress he felt in his brain. I believe he had an undiagnosed traumatic brain injury that later manifested as schizophrenia.

There were many years when we lived the nightmare of his addiction to meth and other hard drugs. When Brandon was 32 years old, his father died. His stepdad and I took him in, because he seemed shaken enough to want to get free of the drugs.

That lasted only a short while before he couldn’t resist hanging with his drug buddies, flaunting our agreements and becoming surly. We were forced to kick him out.

I didn’t know for well over a year whether he was alive or dead.

One day I received a call from him. He had been accepted into a group mental health facility. He was clean and on medication for his schizophrenia-like symptoms. I was thrilled that he was getting help.

We set up an arrangement for him to come to my bodywork office once a week to receive craniosacral treatments and enjoy a Mom-made lunch I’d bring from home. Although it was a long journey by light-rail, he would faithfully keep his appointments.

We’d also have him come to our house for dinner sometimes and for holidays and other outings. We built a close, loving relationship during that time.

Whenever one of my other clients would see him in passing, they would always remark about what a loving heart he had. He was a bright light in a very distressed body.

The antipsychotic medications he was on caused tremendous weight gain so that he became morbidly obese. Those same medications caused unbearable side effects that he was then prescribed other medications to control.

None of it worked very well. He still was persecuted by voices in his head. He couldn’t tolerate noise and chaos without becoming panicked.

Yet he faithfully showed up every week for his appointment. Of course I was his biggest cheerleader. He would ask for advice on things that could help his condition, but given his lack of funds and living situation, there wasn’t a lot he could do.

He never gave up hope, though.

One day in February 2016, he came in and was very excited that his counselor had arranged for him to get acupuncture treatments, a gym membership, and he had applied to the local community college to take a class.

It looked like his life was really going to turn around.

As he was leaving that day, he turned to me and said, “You know, Mom, I still believe I can have the life of my dreams.”

I responded, “I know you can, honey! I love you.”

Those were the last words we ever spoke to each other. Late the next evening, police came to our door to inform us that my son was deceased.

Through my shock and heartbreak, stories came forward of how everyone in the group home had special regard for my son. His counselor especially told me how three of his clinicians used the word “Sunshine” to describe him. One said, “If only I could have that much ambition in my own life….” She, of course, meant hope and determination.

The counselor also told me that he had moments of relief and genuine happiness toward the end. He made the most of the opportunities for fun, learning, and healing that he had.

Despite the labels, despite the discomfort he endured, despite all his challenges, he left the world believing that he could still have the life of his dreams.

None of us is promised tomorrow. With hope, we can be strong for what we want. We can notice what is beautiful and nourishing right now. And we can find moments of relief and genuine happiness in our day-to-day life. That is the power of hope!

 

Is Your Energy Up to Your Mission?

“People who are open, empathetic, optimistic, flexible, generous, warm, connected, creative and interesting seem to have a much easier time. They’re more able to accomplish their goals, influence others and most of all, hang out with the people they’d like to be with.” ~Seth Godin

“High achievement and extraordinary results require big energy.” ~ The ONE Thing, by Gary Keller

If you want to have an amazing life, you simply can’t be chronically tired or feeling less than your best. It’s bad enough when fatigue hits only occasionally, as in when you’re coming down with a bug or doing a detox. It puts quite the damper on your empathy, optimism, generosity, and creativity when energy is consistently below par.

While lots of people are tempted to keep throwing back cups of coffee or energy drinks to stay powered up through the day, perhaps they don’t realize the damage that does to the delicate systems that keep everything in balance in the body.

Like other symptoms or conditions, lack of energy has root causes. It’s not just something that happens to you because you’re getting older. And it likely doesn’t exist by itself. It probably has friends in the form of digestive difficulties, skin issues, or weight challenges.

You don’t have time for this!

You are up to big things. You’re committed to your mission. You want to make a difference. You know you need all the energy you can have to do all the work you’re here to do, to contribute in the way you want to.

What’s really frustrating is when you’ve tried to change your diet to make more healthy choices. You’re getting regular check-ups and your doc says you’re fine. You do what you can to exercise and take care of yourself, but – you have a lot of other responsibilities you have to care for too, you know?

Never give up hope!

Virginia, like many driven women entrepreneurs, is juggling two businesses and a household. And while she thought she was doing most things right, she struggled with her energy and her weight. That affected her confidence level and held her back from seeking the visibility she knew she needed in order to grow the business she loved. Although she was quite successful in one business, she lacked the energy and focus to work on the mission-driven one.

She really was already doing a lot of the right things. She was careful about avoiding GMOs and chose organic and local foods whenever possible. She got regular massage and performed physical therapy exercises and used a recumbent bicycle. And she was diligent about following her doctors’ advice.

She had tried working with another nutrition coach, but found the program too restrictive, and her inner “Irish girl” rebelled. When we started working together, we focused on making small changes that would move her toward better health overall.

I customized my food recommendations to take into account her preferences and sensitivities. Gradually we incorporated other lifestyle changes that influence things like self-esteem, self-image, sleep patterns, even time management.

And it’s working. Better than anything she has tried in the past! In her words, “I never feel pushed. I feel supported and encouraged. And I feel better, both physically and mentally, now that I’m accomplishing my health goals.”

“Personal energy mismanagement is a silent thief of productivity.” ~ The ONE Thing

Caution: Boundaries Needed

This is another thing that puts a damper on your energy, empathy, optimism, generosity, and creativity – lack of proper boundaries. While that’s an entire blog post (or two) in itself, what I’ll say is that having firm boundaries about the requests of others, how you apportion your time, what you choose to eat, drink, and put on your body, and who you allow into your mental/emotional space WILL have a huge impact on your energy level and personal power.

Discovering your personal boundaries and the effects that stress, use of time, and mixed-up priorities – such as always putting business or other people’s needs first – will give you new insight and motivation to make the lifestyle changes you need to create the moxie you want.

“Doing the most important thing is always the most important thing.” ~The ONE Thing

One Size Does Not Fit All

Here’s the thing. Really successful people and high-earners among entrepreneurs have a radiant vibrancy that’s compellingly different from the average person. That energy is part of their success. It’s the most important thing, in fact.

If you have a big mission in the world, you need your body as a vehicle and a vessel to get that vision out there. You have to have energy. You have to have your health, your focus, and your self-confidence.

Unfortunately, there’s no cookie-cutter plan that will address all of the moving pieces that could be messing with your pizzazz. The best plan is one that teaches you to listen to the wisdom of your body so that you come to trust it, one that will look at the whole of you and find the holes in your self-care routines. Or if you have some stubborn symptoms that haven’t responded even though you’ve put forth lots of effort, it often takes an expert eye to find what may have been overlooked.

Once Virginia was able to truly see herself as successful and to strengthen her personal boundaries, coupled with an eating/exercise/lifestyle plan customized just for her, she started shedding weight consistently. And now that she’s feeling more energized and confident, she’s moving ahead with her most important project – the business she loves.

If you’re interested in getting these kinds of results, let’s talk. Email me at [email protected] and we’ll book a time to chat. Let’s make sure your body is up to your next big project!